canopy.
what hangs over you?
is it regrets, people, places, things?
things you could have done, but didn’t. things you wish you would have done — those things that keep you up at night, imagining how they would have played out.
things you never should have done… things which you expect to see following you when you look over your shoulder.
do you ever miss the person you used to be?
self-portraits, Nikon D3, 50 f/1.4
how about all of the above.
Comment by Darrell — June 30, 2009 @ 6:30 pm
answering would be like coming unraveled…
years spent winding and turning would fall to the floor
like death
leaving a path of destruction
unable to be rebuilt
unable to live
forever unable to be free.
Comment by Michele — June 30, 2009 @ 6:40 pm
what hangs over me… what keeps me awake at night…
hopes and dreams of the future.
a feeling of having to hurry up, to catch up, that i’m losing time.
feelings of wanting to accomplish worlds worth of things, only-again.. the time issue.
Comment by erin — June 30, 2009 @ 6:41 pm
Way to be vague, Darrell.
Michele, you break my heart. I love who you are.
Erin, I know. I know, baby.
Comment by jenn — June 30, 2009 @ 6:49 pm
What hangs over me?
Lately it has been the thought that life has dragged me to lots of places I have not wanted to go. Sad that I have suffered greatly because of the bad choices of people close to me, and they didn’t/don’t get how much it hurt. That I will never have some of the things I have really wanted. Or be everything I have wanted to be.
At 52, I find that I am less optimistic. When one is younger, one can imagine a future that is better than the present. But when one is older, it is harder to imagine that.
[Of course, some of my despondent musings these days could be the result of menopause, which is like pms X 10.]
Comment by gail — June 30, 2009 @ 7:19 pm
I wish I had been able to marry when I was young, and had children to raise with a husband. But life asked me to do something else with those years. I’m happy I did them but wonder about a different future sometimes, that had that aspect of love along with the gift of raising my nephew. But I still would still choose Noah first if I had it do over again. It’s just the big wonder of my life, how many children I would have had & with whom.
Comment by Mariko Annu — June 30, 2009 @ 8:44 pm
The guillotine of pending bills.
Comment by LeftyJames — June 30, 2009 @ 9:35 pm
uncertainty hangs over me. I wish I would have had more wisdom to make a career choice for my future self that would give me more security in uncertain times. I wish I could have known the truly awesome power in the pure joy of being a Mom and the weight of the responsibility I feel to make my daughter proud of me. I know that if I put my mind and my heart to it, I can accomplish something that makes me proud of myself and her proud of me. I just need to uncage the true courage that I know is within me. Leap and the net will appear…I just hope I don’t have to tumble through too much air to get to the net. The permanently inked reminder from my 18 year-old self to my 32 year-old self… I am different than the exterior shell that I present to the world. I am bold. I am passionate. I am not boring and predictable. I am still the person I used to be, I just need to invite her back to the party.
Comment by Chelsea — June 30, 2009 @ 11:14 pm
My OCD hangs over me. Specifically my intrusive thoughts. I know they represent things I’d never do, and by their definition are indicative of the very opposite of my character. But sometimes they catch me unawares and I fear that they’re really me. That I am that hideous, evil and awful person.
Comment by Mim O — July 1, 2009 @ 2:37 am
My son’s ADHD hangs over me, everyday. Was it my fault? Did I eat/drink/ do anything wrong when I was pregnant. Will it ever get better, will my patience ever match his hyperactivity and impulsive decisions? As I drift further from him and he wanders away from me I’m scared he will never be able to control himself and live a normal life one day without us. We will never have the relationship we were meant to have, I fear, and it rips me to shreds on a daily basis.
Comment by A Man Duh — July 1, 2009 @ 6:31 am
his presence being absent. guilt. sadness.
will i find a way to make sense of any of it. ever. that notion that seeing it as fate, is really an excuse. that pain in my chest, tingling in my arms, tears in my eyes, lump in my throat, i have learned to live with. it is a raw sadness, surfacing now and again, but always there. forever. i am forever sad for the both of them.
Comment by kdid — July 1, 2009 @ 8:58 am
i can completely relate to erin’s comment. time. always time. hanging over me. i feel older than i am, or my soul that is. sometimes i just want to slow down and stop thinking about the future. i want to stop trying to catch up to what other people have. feeling out of place. unable to relate. alone.
Comment by melissa — July 1, 2009 @ 4:39 pm
Two things.
Darkness. Pain and sadness call to me like a siren.
A wish. To be free, single, on my own.
I don’t wish to be the person I used to be, but I wish sometimes to be free of the consequences of choices I’ve made in the past.
Comment by Lyra — July 1, 2009 @ 6:20 pm
All of your words here have touched me. I am so glad I know you — all of you.
Comment by jenn — July 1, 2009 @ 8:22 pm
i miss her all the time.. that person that i used to be.
jenn… these are exquisite. seriously.
Comment by tara leigh — July 3, 2009 @ 4:52 pm
I regret that on a daily basis I let myself tell myself that I am inadequate in every way.
Comment by Lori Franz — July 13, 2009 @ 8:28 pm
hey!! i googled my name and found my name on your blog! thanks!!
love the books photo!~
wait.. just looked to see thqat I am on the wrong post.. LOvE the boobs photos. yum.. wait is that wrong?
Comment by Katelyn Vonfeldt — July 14, 2009 @ 7:03 am
Hey everyone. I’m hoping to meet new friends here so drop me a note when you
get a chance.
I hope to make some quality posts soon but first I have to look around the forum and
familiarize myself with everyone and the forum.
Bye for now. lol
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Biggest Loser of All Time
Comment by Shenelle — July 24, 2009 @ 10:13 am